Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Here are two drafts of the same concept. I wanted to write from my mom's perspective about what she was thinking the night I told her I was going back to school. The first attempt is a poem that is supposed to be in 3 columns (use your imagination). The second is a before-during-after glimpse of what my mom may have been thinking that night.

I have something important to tell you

I’m going back to college

To be an English teacher

I’m not moving to Troy

I’m not taking the promotion

Oh really? What’s up

Oh you decided to get your MBA?

Well… you love to read!

You’ll be much closer to everyone!

Sounds like you’ve got this all figured out

What Mom is Thinking
Oh God, she better not be pregnant.

I wonder how she’s going to pay for this. I hope she doesn’t expect a lot of help from me, I can’t afford that. I’m already a co-signer on her sister’s loans. She can’t keep her apartment and we don’t have room for her to move back in. What is she going to do?

How long is that going to take? Where did this come from? I thought she loved working at the bank

She’s going to get stuck in Ionia and never have a chance to leave. What about her new job?

I hope she’s got this all figured out.

Ash is coming over tonight to tell me something. She says it’s important and wouldn’t give me any hints, so naturally I’m pretty nervous. I hate the suspense, especially because I’m not convinced this will be good news. She seemed pretty chipper when I talked to her, but she’s good at hiding her real feelings. Hopefully I can read her face better than I can read her voice. Oh, she’s pulling in the driveway right now…

Ash is walking in the door. I can’t read her face yet, but she doesn’t seem especially excited or disappointed. Where did this girl get her composure? Definitely not from me. She’s sitting down on the couch. Should I bring it up? I know that she’s waiting for me to say something first, probably enjoying the suspense building around her grand announcement. I cave. I ask her what her big surprise is and she tells me. Wow! I did not see that coming. I’m in shock…

Ash is pulling out of the driveway. I’m still mulling it over in my head. She’s going back to school? Why? She has a good job and is well on her way to being successful at the bank. She has virtually no student loans and is throwing it all away to go back and be a teacher. A teacher in Michigan. A teacher in a state where there are no teaching jobs. I hope she’s not making a mistake. She’s so confident, though, I can’t help but believe that she will be fine. She always has been fine. Even though she’s always pulled herself through whatever trial she’s faced with, I’m still worried for her. I’m worried about what her boss will say when she tells him she’s not moving to Troy and taking the promotion. I’m worried about where she will live because she can’t afford her apartment anymore if she’s going to pay for half of her classes herself. She’s bound and determined to make this work for her, and knowing Ash, she will. For some reason, I’m still worried.

1 comment:

lindsay said...

"For some reason, I'm still worried." I really like that line. It echoes the way I talk to myself inside my head I think.

It look like you used the model of the three voice poem from Romano's book for yours. Was that helpful? You point out how little is said on the surface sometimes--though I do see a picture of your mom emerging that is very supportive, not only supportive but honest with herself about her misgivings and worries. Is this relationship one that will appear in other pieces in your collection?