Tuesday, November 24, 2009

You'll Shoot Your Eye Out

Everyone has that one Christmas gift that, as a child, they asked for year after year after year but Santa never delivered. I have a TON of these gifts. Looking back, I'm half-annoyed, half-relieved that I never got them. Let's take a look:

Sue and Her Beauty Salon Too: I cannot, for the life of me, find a picture, but rest assured it is not this Sue, as Google seems to keep suggesting:

The Beauty Salon Sue had her own salon chair and hair dryer and about 100+ little pieces that you could put in her hair. Ever year, my grandma and I would go through the JCPenney Christmas catalog and I would diligently write down each item I wanted, with a price, page number, item description, and item number. (The only time in my childhood that I was organized was if it resulted in me getting cool shit.)

Another item that showed up year after year on my list was the Bob Ross Painting Kit. I used to watch Bob on PBS anytime I could. I fricken loved his happy little trees made of a mixture of burnt sienna and raw umber and applied with a putty knife. Plus, he made friends with squirrels and had an afro. I was in love. I figured that if I had his painting kit I, too, could paint happy trees and fluffy clouds. Maybe I would even have a squirrel friend! (I did not covet his hair, but surprisingly enough, my hair does sometimes resemble his 'fro.)

Then, there's the worst possible thing ever: When the cousin you despise gets the gift you want. The horror!!! This happened to me when I was 7. One of my cousins is 2 months younger than me, which has always led to some sibling-like rivalry (and then whenever I beat her at anything, she always gave lame excuses like, "I wasn't even trying..." ugh. And yes, I realize this should not still make me mad but it does.) That year I was begging for a My Size Barbie (You could wear her clothes!!) and stupid-face cousin got one instead.

This sucked because whenever I had to go to her house to play, stupid-face cousin got to make the rules about how we played with her. And she always got to wear the clothes. (But she looked hideous in a pink tutu so, HA! I got the last laugh on that one, bitches!)

So, what was the gift you wanted as a child and never got?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'll never forget how Erin and I wanted makeup for Christmas one year. "Santa" left us a note saying we were "too young for makeup." Ok, fine, but then we found out that Santa gave YOU makeup!!! And you, my dear, are younger than both of us! I was so mad... yet confused! That was also when I realized that Santa's handwriting was extremely similar to my mom's! Hahaha.